Time for a fun topic, boys and girls. We’re going to talk about weaponry! And how none of them seem to work against Slender Man!
Wow, that last sentence is pessimistic….
-Used In: Seeking Truth, In My Head, Make it Count
-Effect: None obvious effect in Seeking Truth or In My Head. In Make it Count, upon firing a gun at Slender Man, the shooter began coughing up blood. When brought to the hospitals, the doctors said that she had somehow pierced her lung, though no visible entry or exit wounds were found.
-Final Verdict: Don’t use them. Either it has no effect, or really bad effects.
-Note: Time for me to rant a bit here. Most of my life, I have lived in Texas. As such, I have been exposed to a lot of gun culture, even though most of my life here has been spent in a city which never heard that hippies stopped being fashionable. This gun culture has included a basic knowledge of gun safety. Because of that, every time I read a comment of someone saying, “You should get yourself a gun! Even if it won’t stop Slender Man, it can protect you from proxies!” I cringe. One of the very basic rules of gun safety is, if you have not had any experience or training in handling a gun, do not use a gun. A gun doesn’t just work by point and click, like in a video game. You need to know how maintain the gun, as well as minimize the chances of it going off prematurely. Someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing with a gun is more likely to shoot themselves or a friend then they are to shoot a proxy attacking them. So, please, unless the person you are talking to has handled a gun, been to a shooting range, or has a gun license, stop telling them to go and get a gun as soon as possible. It’s all going to end up with someone accidentally shooting their face off, and that’s never a pleasant thing.
-Used In: Da Watcha, EverymanHYBRID
-Effect: Drove Slender Man off in Da Watcha, but the ending of that blog involved having a rave at Slendy’s house, so it isn’t exactly the most reliable source. In EverymanHYBRID, it resulted in Evan bleeding from the mouth and needing to be hospitalized.
-Final Verdict: Baseball bats seem to be oddly popular for use as a weapon, probably because they’re so easy to get. Still isn’t likely to help much against Slendy.
-Used In: White Elephants, Anomalous Data
-Effect: Caused Slender Man to flee in White Elephants, had no effect in Anomalous Data
-Final Verdict: Chance of success varies depending on how Slendy works at that moment. So, might work, might not. If it doesn’t, you can always just do what B did and use it as a blunt weapon.
-Used In: EverymanHYBRID, Scared
-Effects: After trying to ram Slendy with their car, the Hybrid boys blacked out, then woke up back in their home. In Scared, Slendy just Slenderwalked out of the way, causing them to crash.
-Final Verdict: Well…. It didn’t hurt Slendy. And it doesn’t look like the boys were harmed, but we really don’t know what happened during that gap. And it definitely didn’t work in Scared. Might be safest to just not try it.
A Magical Bone-Thing
-Used In: Dreams in Darkness
-Effect: Drove Slender Man off sometimes. Not a 100% success rate.
-Final Verdict: Really can’t say, due to the unreliable narrator deal. Even if there was a bone that drove off Slender Man, it’s doubtful anyone could find it again.
-Used In: A Really Bad Joke
-Effect: Left Slender Man thoroughly confused.
-Final Verdict: Possibly might work, but this is a serious case of “Don’t try this at home, kids!”
-Used In: A Really Bad Joke
-Effect: When placed on Slender Man, he appeared to have a breakdown, and started losing shape.
-Final Verdict: Another thing which may work, but actually putting the mask on Slendy successfully without being eaten would be a bit of a trick, especially now that he knows what to expect.
-Used In: Scared
-Effect: Caused a loud shrieking noise. Jack, Stephanie, and Drew all blacked out, so we don’t know more than that.
-Final Verdict: They survived, which is a plus, but we can’t tell whether Slender Man was planning to kill them there or not. So no real way to determine whether it was effective or not.
-Used In: Finding the Darkness
-Effect: Slendy screamed, and then Ryan blacked out. Pretty similar to the holy water effect, really. Since the use of the crucifix, Ryan hasn’t made note of any Slender Man appearances, though he’s still got creepy shit happening to him.
-Final Verdict: Same as holy water.
-Used In: Breaker
-Effect: Cut off Slender Man’s arms. Eating the flesh from those arms gave SamJaz SUPER POWERS!
-Final Verdict: Ohoho, Breaker. No, do not try to cut off Slendy’s arms with an axe. It won’t work.
Weaponized Operator Symbol
-Used In: White Elephants
-Effect: Caused Slendy to scream in pain then vanish.
-Final Verdict: Another case of unreliable narrator, so we can’t be sure if it even works. If it does, reproducing the conditions would be difficult (have to make the symbol out of Slendysubstance, and then have Slendy step onto it.)
Shouting Angrily at Slender Man
-Used In: CUT!
-Effect: Um…. Actually…. Worked. Somehow. Slender Man left the room.
-Final Verdict: Go ahead and give it a try. See what happens. Don’t expect it to work, but if it does, well, good for you.
The Power of Rock
-Used In: None, sadly.
-Effect: I can only guess what would happen, since no one has tried it yet. My prediction is that Slender Man would be blown away by the awesome power that is ROCK and be utterly annihilated. And thus, the world would be saved.
-Final Verdict: Someone get a guitar and set up a massive stage outside. Then we can rock Slender Man to death.
In the end, we still don't have anything that can assuredly harm Slender Man. At the moment, the only things which seem to be potentially harmful are all memetic weapons (the $20, the mask, holy water and crucifix, and the operator symbol), and none of those do lasting harm to him.